Open Letter To The Douche Who Got Mad At My Stupid Joke

A gathering of friends at the Barrel House in Downtown Davenport was a lovely time for all the I-Rock family in attendance.  But some random dude came in and was appalled.

Did he tell me to my face how disgusting I was?  No, of course not.  He waited 48 hours and then sent me a strongly worded email.  And now, we break down that email in this episode of "Don't Be A Douche.".

The Email From Marshall

Below is the full email from keyboard warrior Marshall along with my comments around each of his "thoughts".

Just wanted to give you a little feedback from what I heard you say the other day during the Barrell House Giveaway.

Why would you think that making a joke about someone's actual name in public would be a funny thing to say?

Hi "John Doe - you just won a... wait, is that a real name? hahaa sounds like this is a PORN Name"

Because people should have thick skin and be able to take a joke.

Then we find out its the childs name when the dad came up holding him in his arms.

First off, it was his grandpa...looking good for a grandpa! And yeah, bummer it was a kid.  Would have been funny if it was some big burly dude with a mustache.

Might as well of just said, - 'Congratulations winner, youve got a stupid name!'

What are you talking about!?  I didn't say it was a stupid name in any way shape or form.  I said porn name...which means it's an awesome name!  Duh.

What were you even thinking? I swear like a sailor, but this was the absolute dumbest shit I've ever heard come out of a Local DJs mouth. If I were his dad, I woulda torn those tickets up in your face for such a stupid, out of place, dumb timing no reason joke to be spit out of your mouth concerning what someone named their CHILD.

The grandpa and his boys loved the afternoon.  The family actually got lucky and got two wins.  And again, clearly, this guy doesn't know the station in any way shape, or form.

I'm sure you will probably chalk this up to 'ah bad joke bad timing' but just want to make sure you clearly understand how disgusting comments like these are, because not only did it make you look absolutely retarded and fucked up in the head, but you could clearly see the woman with you was uncomfortable after that and wanted the giveaway to be over, so god knows how many other dumb quotes came out of your mouth.

Woah, woah, woah.  I'm disgusting but he's out here dropping the "R" word like it's Tropic Thunder.  (What a great movie.)  I mean, we are not PC here, but that's not cool bro.

Also "the woman" with me was Becky in Black.  And she says "Things would have been a whole lot worse if I had the microphone."  Direct quote.

Quick rule of thumb, nobody gives a shit about what a DJ has to say, theyre in it for the music and free shit for tuning in, and everybody absolutely hates it when a DJ interupts music to have a little 'I'm a DJ heres my storytime BS' on air, or in person. Just shut up.

Now we are getting more into what he's mad about, and the real reason I wanted to "open letter" this.  He just doesn't like radio DJs.  Or radio in general.  So let me tell you, the reason local radio is still relevant and more consumed than over-the-air TV and cable TV combined is because of the personalities on the radio.

We know you can get music any time from your device with the exact songs you want.  But there is no personal connection there.  Radio still has that one-on-one personal connection.  Radio is much more than songs and free stuff.  It's a part of the local community for better or worse.  We thank you for having embraced what we do for the last 4 freakin' years.

So keep your dumbass comments to yourself so everybody can have a good time next time. Rather, not just next time, for the rest of your career.  Have some fucking sense, and put a filter on, because you fucking need it.

Um, that is impossible.  Again, clearly, somebody who doesn't know me or he would have figured out the dumbass comments happen every day from 10:00 am - 3:00 pm!

Kid looks as uncomfortable as everyone in the room felt that day.

Not true.  Don't speak for others.

Why was Marshall so mad?

So now I've been trying to figure out why he was so angry.  I've got these three theories.

1. His mom is a porn star.  Jokes about porn would get you upset too if you knew mom was out there on the hub.
2. He is a failed radio guy.  There are a lot of them out there and the list keeps growing.
3. He didn't win anything.  Because he didn't win one of the 15 prizes we gave away that day he's mad.  And if he writes a strongly worded email I'll cave and give him something to make him happy again.  Not going to happen.

Will I ever really know?  Probably not.  Will I ever really care?  Definitely not.  Is there a lesson to be learned here?  Yes.  Send me a message that I can turn into material and I will.

I did respond to his email with a couple sentences and then he wrote back a manifesto.  Then I responded with a sentence...and he wrote back a manifesto.  And then...yeah I'm done.  Way more important things to do.

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I appreciate everyone (and there are a lot of you) that listen every day, come to our events and concerts, and goof around with us on social media.  We have fun.  Sometimes we are dumb.  Sometimes those dumb things are funny.

So we'll keep doing what we do.  Cause nothing we have done has been that bad.  Not like we accidentally posted a video of us exploring our bodies in the shower...

We'll keep entertaining you with all the rock and nonsense that pops into our heads and hopefully, you continue to enjoy it for the next 4 to 40 years.