I don't know about you, but I get a ton of email everyday.  Most of it is crap.  However, I do occasionally get important things.  Today seemed like a good day to go see if any "important" things went into my junk folder.  Shocking, there was not.  Junk and of course scams.  Normally the scams just get deleted, but this one caught my attention and made me laugh on a rainy Friday morning.

So let's take a look and break this thing down.

Hi, stranger!

I hacked your device, because I sent you this message from your account.

If you have already changed your password, my malware will be intercepts it every time.

You may not know me, and you are most likely wondering why you are receiving this email, right?

In fact, I posted a malicious program on adults (pornography) of some websites, and you know that you visited these websites to enjoy (you know what I mean).

While you were watching video clips,

my trojan started working as a RDP (remote desktop) with a keylogger that gave me access to your screen as well as a webcam.

Immediately after this, my program gathered all your contacts from messenger, social networks, and also by e-mail.

First off the email came from "me".  Yeah, they use your own emails address but it's actually not your email if you look closely. Yet they say "Hi, stranger".  Well they should know my name if they actually looked at it.  Then a bunch of tech jargon to try and scare you.  Then, the key word "pornography"...now they think they got you sweating cause they are talking about your porn stash.

What I've done?

I made a double screen video.

The first part shows the video you watched (you have good taste, yes ... but strange for me and other normal people), and the second part shows the recording of your webcam.

What should you do?  Well, I think $900 (USD dollars) is a fair price for our little secret.  You will make a bitcoin payment (if you don't know, look for "how to buy bitcoins" on Google).

Of course they recorded my screen watching porn.  Important note here, my computer doesn't have a camera.  Not because I'm paranoid about something like this, no it's because it's ancient, broke and the company won't get me a new one.

$900 "USD dollars"...damn, I was going to get them with $900 in Pesos.  Oh wait, now you want in bitcoin which you want me to do research on.  This is all going as I'd expect.

You have 2 days (48 hours) to pay. (I have a special code, and at the moment I know that you have read this email).

If I don't get bitcoins, I will send your video to all your contacts, including family members, colleagues, etc.

However, if I am paid, I will immediately destroy the video, and my trojan will be destruct someself.

If you want to get proof, answer "Yes!" and resend this letter to youself.

And I will definitely send your video to your any 19 contacts.

This is a non-negotiable offer, so please do not waste my personal and other people's time by replying to this email.

Bye!

And there is the kicker, if I don't pay them they'll send the video of me taking care of my  business to my contacts.  First off, they are going to send the video to "your any 19 contacts" well that is terrible English.  But also, I've got way more than 19 contacts bro.  I'm popular...not really...but I have more contacts than that!  The best part though, the email isn't threatening to crash my computer...cause that would actually be concerning.  Nope, they are going to send a video of me waxing my pole to my contacts.  That actually seems like good marketing to me.  No news is bad news right!

So thank you random scammer bot that tried to get $900 US dollars from me.  You gave me a laugh this morning.  Now, I'm going to get back to watching some videos.

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