10 Signs They’re Really Into You: Quad Cities Edition

Dating as a whole is a joke.  Especially in the year 2022, are people still going out?  Or are they just messaging each other until one of them dies? And how do you know if that person actually likes you, and isn't "talking" to twenty other people?  By "talking" I mean sending their version of a Tommy Lee to anybody in the metro area.  We happen to be fortunate enough to be living in the Quad Cities because it is quite easy to figure out if a person is actually into you, or if you're just wasting your time on them.  Through extensive trial and error on my part(you're welcome by the way) I've compiled a list of these top ten signs.  Quad Cities style.  Use them wisely, use them often, and most importantly, use a condom.

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1. They buy you Happy Joe's pizza.  You know they probably had to take out a second mortgage to afford it, especially if it was a taco pizza, so you should know you're special.
2. They'll cross the bridge to hang out with you...and not just at 2 AM.  Whether it's to get to Iowa, or to get to Illinois, everybody will do it when the bars close for a booty call, but if they're willing to do it in the middle of the day just to grab lunch, or see a movie, that's saying something.
3. They'll tell you just how many people they sucked face with at Rock the District (all of them). You can't even get that mad about it, because you don't even know what your number is...
4. They'll take you to meet their parents....who live in Le Claire. You better put on your Sunday best because Mom and Dad are going to be hella judging you, and you're still not going to be good enough.
5. They'll let you use their extra Mississippi Valley Fair fun card for EVERY show. This is a big one.  Those babies cost a buttload and they could very well take a different guy/girl every night, but if they choose you, it's true love.  Bonus points if they buy your drinks.
6. You run the Bix 7 together. This is NOT personal experience, I would only run if a bear was chasing me, probably not even then.  I have heard of couples doing it though, and it's pretty legit.
7. They'll take you to Duck City instead of Applebee's.  Yeah, yeah, their long islands are great and all, but Applebee's is really the McDonald's of sit-down restaurants. I myself have never been to Duck City(hint hint guys).
8. You'll do the walk of shame, even if they live on the west end of Davenport.  Let's face it, you probably don't have a driver's license because of that "clerical error" and her baby daddy's got the car for the night, so if she's still willing to come over and hoof it in that neighborhood, she might be a keeper.
9. You go to a Quad City Storm game, not on dollar beer night.  Of course he takes you on cheap beer night because he thinks he's gonna get lucky, but any other night he could go hang out with the boys instead.  If he picks you over his buddies, at least some of the time, he's totally into you.
10. You take a weekend trip to Galena.  I feel like this is the pinnacle of "they're into you."  If you're going to Galena together, you're practically married.  Does anybody even like Galena, or do they just go to get a tax deduction or something?

So that's it.  Ten ways you can tell, at least in the Quad Cities anyways, if that certain someone is truly "the one" or not.  Do with this information what you will.  But don't say I didn't warn you from the start, dating is a joke. No matter what side of the river you're on.