To Some Quad Cities Dudes: Please Learn How To Properly Use A Urinal.
We've been back at it with concerts and sporting events for a while now. But it seems like some dudes have forgotten how to properly use a urinal. Yeah, you know how to pee. But, you are standing in all the wrong spots. So here is your friendly reminder on the dos and don'ts of proper urinal etiquette.
There are basic rules we all should be following in the line of urinals.
First, it should go without saying. But, no talking to the stranger near to you. You really shouldn't even be talking to the buddy near you. Don't be on the phone. And you really shouldn't be eating...but hey, I guess on that one you can do you.
But beyond that, the "lineup" must always be followed properly. One urinal. Easy. Beyond that, things get dicey. Two is always the worst cause you are stuck being next to the other dude. Three gets you one buffer. Four is a terrible number cause really only 2 are usable. The venue is wasting real estate with four. Let's really put things to the test with the five below.
- Guy 1. Always take the one farthest to the edge.
- Guy 2. In most scenarios, you take the other edge farthest away from guy 1. But, in this trick urinal, it's OK to take that middle spot.
- Guy 3. Sorry, bro. But you are stuck using the little one. You know it the second you walk in and there is nothing you can do about it. Don't you dare stand next to guys 1 and 2. You'll get some tinkle on your shoes, but that's your luck of the draw bro.
- Guy 4. You gotta take the one between 1 and 2. Guy 3 is already hating life in his little spot, don't make things worse for him by standing next to him.
- Guy 5. Really at this point, you should just hold it. Or use a stall. But if the beers have been flowing and everything else is full, then saddle up.
More do's and do not's of the public urinal.
These seem like more obvious rules. But since you are here, good to remind you.
Seriously...don't be that guy.
OK if somebody could actually pull off the "wrongest" one here, that would be impressive.
You've all been there at this moment. The worst guy at the urinal who just throws the entire system off. Don't be that guy.