Illinois (and Iowa) Women Firing Back over Fireball Fraud

There are a lot of miscommunications in this world that I can handle like a civilized adult.  Getting fries with my burger when I clearly ordered onion rings, no big deal, they're still fried, I'll eat 'em.  When only the crappy brand of laundry detergent is on sale when the sign is right in front of the good stuff...yeah, I'm irritated, but I'll get over it.

But there are a few blatant attempts of corporate fuckery that I just will not stand for.  Messing with my Fireball Fridays is absolutely grounds for a mutiny, and I will be leading the charge.

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Fireball Lawsuit

Turns out, an Illinois woman is suing the makers of Fireball for fraud for this very reason.  If you've ever been to a gas station or grocery store in the last few months, I'm sure you've seen the tiny "shooter" bottles of Fireball near or around the checkout.  Turns out that these bottles contain ZERO actual Whisky.

The Chicago woman claims in her lawsuit that she bought Fireball Cinnamon unaware that it was different than the bigger Fireball bottles(you and everybody else girl!!!) and she is seeking more than $5 million.

The lawsuit also cites that the labeling and packaging are confusing with both small and larger bottles containing red caps and similar yellow labels with a fire-breathing dragon on them.   The tiny bottles are called "Fireball Cinnamon" and have a lower alcohol content than the whisky-based larger bottles you may be more familiar with.

What does Fireball have to say about this?

The Sazerac (Fireball) Company said on its website that the malt-based "Fireball Cinnamon" is only 33 proof and the Fireball Cinnamon Whisky is 66 proof, and this allows them to sell it at a "premium price".

The lawyer who filed the lawsuit is seeking class-action status for people who bought "Fireball Cinnamon" in 12 states including Illinois, Wyoming, and Arizona.

Time for justice.

It's no secret that I am a huge fan of Fireball, and have enjoyed both the large and small bottles of the spirit, so this news grinds my gears beyond belief.

Do you honestly think that I'm willing to choose price over the amount of drunk I get after a hard Friday at this office?  Hard Pass.  I'll pay the extra few bucks to go zero dark thirty by the end of the night.  If I want mouthwash, I'll just go to the toothpaste aisle.